Like the Whitesnake song says, Here I go again on my own..

Being divorced plays with your head.  You had someone who said they loved you, and then one day, apparently they didn’t any longer.  It’s been four years for me since that happened.  I spent the first year just learning to survive.  Years 2-4 have been more about being a mom and not even focusing on myself.

I wouldn’t say I made a new year’s resolution; in fact I didn’t have my epiphanies until February. But I decided this was it.  It was time to take care of me.  I started eating healthier and exercising.  And the biggest change:  Admitting to myself that I want someone in my life.

I spent the last four years convincing myself that I was happy alone.  I certainly wasn’t unhappy.  I have a fabulous daughter.  I have a loving family and amazing friends who have become my family as well.  But having someone to share life with was missing.

I joined and quit and rejoined the dating sites.  Because let’s face it:  It is 2015.  I work full time and take care of a child with the rest of my time.  I don’t have the faintest idea where I’d meet people otherwise.  (PS, if you know of one, let me know).

I’m jumping in with both feet, not timidly sticking my toe in the water.  It’s amazing to me because the me of 4 years ago would be horrified at the actions I’ve taken this year.  At 42 I finally have the self confidence I spent most of my life lacking.  I no longer look at a guy and think “Nope, he’s out of my league”.  I’m in there, swinging away.  Maybe something good will happen.  And maybe I will only get good material for this blog.  Only time will tell.

I only know one thing.  Life is too short to live with the regrets of what I could have done, but didn’t.

Feel free to pop some popcorn and enjoy the ride along with me.  I don’t think it will be boring. 🙂

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