Online Dating: A Primer

Most of my friends are happily married, and have been since before the advent of online dating.  And since my friends are primarily reading this blog at this point, I thought I’d give everyone some idea of what things are like out there.

Spoiler alert:  It’s not pretty.

I have yet to go on a single actual date since my divorce.  There are several reasons for this.  I haven’t been ready, for one.  There’s been no one who has sparked my interest enough, for another.  And then there’s the fact that 80% of the men on online dating sites are shallow, sex obsessed and generally unattractive.

By unattractive, I don’t mean ugly.  I run across men who are perfectly pleasant to look at, but have character traits that are a real turn off.  I’ve had guys with whom I’d been having perfectly pleasant conversation suddenly start getting clingy and needy when I don’t message back RIGHT AWAY.  (Yes, that actually happened).  Insecurity is NOT SEXY, guys!

I’ve been asked in the first communication for the following:

  • To come over and cuddle
  • My boob size
  • If I’d like to be tickled
  • If I was a “down ass female” (I’m still trying to figure out what that one means)
  • If I was open to having sex outdoors

And let’s not forget the guys who have messaged me…while in prison.  Who at the Department of Corrections can I complain to about this one?  Who is giving these guys access to dating sites?  You’re there to serve time for a crime, not get a date!!!

Last but not least, there was the guy who contacted me who had this for his profile picture.  His one and only picture I might add.

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Who in their right mind would respond positively to that?

So ladies, hang tight to your husbands.  You don’t want to be out there fighting this wave of crazy.

 

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