Online Dating: A Primer

Most of my friends are happily married, and have been since before the advent of online dating.  And since my friends are primarily reading this blog at this point, I thought I’d give everyone some idea of what things are like out there.

Spoiler alert:  It’s not pretty.

I have yet to go on a single actual date since my divorce.  There are several reasons for this.  I haven’t been ready, for one.  There’s been no one who has sparked my interest enough, for another.  And then there’s the fact that 80% of the men on online dating sites are shallow, sex obsessed and generally unattractive.

By unattractive, I don’t mean ugly.  I run across men who are perfectly pleasant to look at, but have character traits that are a real turn off.  I’ve had guys with whom I’d been having perfectly pleasant conversation suddenly start getting clingy and needy when I don’t message back RIGHT AWAY.  (Yes, that actually happened).  Insecurity is NOT SEXY, guys!

I’ve been asked in the first communication for the following:

  • To come over and cuddle
  • My boob size
  • If I’d like to be tickled
  • If I was a “down ass female” (I’m still trying to figure out what that one means)
  • If I was open to having sex outdoors

And let’s not forget the guys who have messaged me…while in prison.  Who at the Department of Corrections can I complain to about this one?  Who is giving these guys access to dating sites?  You’re there to serve time for a crime, not get a date!!!

Last but not least, there was the guy who contacted me who had this for his profile picture.  His one and only picture I might add.


Who in their right mind would respond positively to that?

So ladies, hang tight to your husbands.  You don’t want to be out there fighting this wave of crazy.