Four seasons and complete trip around the sun.
It seems like forever and it seems like only moments.
A late night revelation.
An email sent.
A response received.
How it all started.
I’ve told our story to countless friends, family and yes, complete strangers. I’ve had people tear up. I’ve seen goosebumps and countless smiles.
And yet, we had no idea. We did not realize the heights to which we would soar. We had no inkling of how far down the lows would take us.
I had forgotten that home could mean something other than the four walls in which you live. He gave that to me once again. I watched as he tried so hard to comfort me while I tried to comfort my daughter through some of the most difficult times she has faced. He never flinched or backed down when times were difficult. He has been my rock and my best friend. My lover, my confidant, my devil’s advocate when needed. He reminds me of my worth when I forget. He makes me feel beautiful, safe and loved.
He has taken on the job of being a presence in Ava’s life in ways I did not know possible. He can be silly with her one minute and serious the next. He has allowed me to be that same presence in the lives of his own children. And even though we are both well aware of the lines and boundaries, caring for each other’s children seems natural, almost second nature.
I’ll admit to being scared in the beginning. It’s crazy, I would whisper to myself. This is nuts. We jumped off a cliff, not knowing at all where, or even if we would land. And yet, I jumped willingly, almost gleefully into the void. Somehow I knew it would be ok.
People have said to me, “I don’t know how you do it”. It’s terribly hard and easy all at once. Easy because we have a connection that is simply indescribable. Hard because all the phone calls, emails, texts and Skype conversations cannot replace the touch of a hand, a warm hug, or the security of falling asleep next to the person you love. There have been moments of doubt, moments of tears and angry words. Even worse were the hours of complete silence; not the easy silence of two people relaxing in harmony, but the tense quiet of unsettled minds. Someway, somehow, we always found our way back. Because deep down, we know that this is worth fighting for. This is worth waiting for.
I never kid myself that the waiting is easy. I know there are challenges ahead of us that neither of us can foresee. But I know that for the rest of my life the only one I want holding my hand and standing by my side is this marvelous man.
So here’s to our first trip around the sun. What a ride it has been and I hope will always be.
Happy anniversary, my love.